Sharing In Christ's Suffering

Today I sit with so much on my mind. I am first consumed by who Jesus Christ really is. The pure fact that I will never fully grasp who this man is with all my intellect or all my heart has enraptured me with a number of emotions: Jealousy, Humbling, Helplessness, Smallness, Blessing, Humiliation and so many others... Who is this Man, who is this King of Glory?!? I feel so inferior to this divine “God-Man” that just sitting here in this small coffee shop with the Prayer Room Webstream running, I want to weep and fall to my knees in terror of what I have made of Jesus before today.

Today is tough, today is not easy, today is anything but normal. Today so many worries and cares run through my mind as I muse on specific places in my life, circumstances that worry me, ministry logistics that bring terror into my heart, and then (of course) the revelation of what a lack of a sacrifice my life has been to Jesus lately. I feel like I could just die. My mind runs over all the corrections that must be made in these intricate places of my life, and the sacrifice that will come if I wish to make the corrections the Lord has laid out. Again, I’m frozen in fear, thinking about the setbacks that will come. Now my mind questions that which is ahead of me: What will others think of me? Will I lose it all? Where am I to go? Ok, so maybe these questions are harsh, not fully applicable, and mostly sprinkled with satan’s lying accusations that make my mind race with anxiety. I confront the lies, my heart settles down, but still I am left with whispers of doubt of what to do next.

I’ve heard many in the church today speak boldly about how focusing on the story of “the cross” has become a bit “to-much” to consider. “Focus on the resurrection, not on the bloody cross that brings sorrow,” is a popular message today. Though I can see a glimpse of a good heart behind that message, today in my own sorrows it’s only the cross that can comfort my heart. Oh beloved, I am not obsessed with violence or find pleasure in looking at mutilation to closely, but on the contrary, today I choose to look at the heart of my Father. Oh the beauty on the cross at calvary that day! For it was in that moment that the Man who created the heavens and created my frame, the man who holds the seven stars in His hand and at the same moment holds my heart is justified to comfort me in this very moment. You see beloved, in all the gruesome torture Jesus went through, and the nail pierced limbs He endured, It is in this reality that I have a true friend to look too who can in all purity and truth say, “My son, I know what your going through...”

As I ponder the sacrifice that King of the heavens endured for my sake, there is an understanding, a unifying in my heart and His. Today, I consider myself one who shares in the suffering of Jesus. Today, I can lean even more on Christ because it is only He who can perfectly tend to my hurting heart with a testimony of His own. Oh beloved, It is within this testimony that He looks at me and says, “The same way I endured the cross, so you also, with your strength in Me, will we endure this light affliction together.” Now as I type, my tears are gone, the stress in my heart no longer pounds with authority, and the fear that I started this message with has disappeared at the feet of Jesus. I look forward to what this amazing Man did three days later, and my heart is overwhelmed again with joy. Tears start coming back, but now it’s joy that knocks at the door of my heart.

Oh beloved, the power behind the story of the resurrection can only be found and pulled from when one begins at the cross that put Christ in the ground. For you see, Jesus declared in the garden, “Father, it’s time to glorify Your name... Come glorify Me so that you would be glorified.” Who would of thought that God’s idea of glorifying His son would be to crush Him, treating the innocent one with the punishment of all those who are ridden with guilt. Today, I embrace my suffering... Today I embrace the Storm... Today I cling to the light affliction... Today, I stand in the fire of testing... Why? Is it because I know there is light at the end tunnel, or that in three days I will rise again in Glory? NO! Today I hold my ground, and refuse to quit, because just as Jesus Christ had, my only interest and hope is that the Father would be Glorifed in the midst of my refusing to quit... GOD... FOR YOUR GLORY, I WILL LOVE YOU, AND NOT QUESTION YOU IN THE MIDST OF THIS CRUCIBLE!

Song of Solomon 2:16, “Awake, O north wind, And come, O south! blow upon my garden, That its spices may flow out. Let my beloved come to his garden And eat its pleasant fruits.”